Cool Mom's Final Word on Car Seats

I've been researching safety seats for a while because he hit 18 lbs at 4.5 months, and I was like, "Ok...time to figure out what to do next..."  The whole car seat issue just fills me with righteous indignation at the way manufacturer's capitalize on parents' legal obligation to meet minimum safety standards by requiring you to buy 3-5 safety seats to get them through the 80 pound mark required by many states.

At best, the median weight for 1 year old boys is 23 pounds, so the "standard" infant car seat, which stops at 22 pounds won't even get you through a year if you have a boy.  If you're one of those people who want to buy a travel system, about 75% of them come with 22 lb seats but 35+ lb strollers.  The highest weight I've seen on a travel system car seat is 30 lbs.

Next there's the law.  Just about every state I know of goes by the NHTSA guidelines for infants which is 22 lbs AND 1 year in a rear-facing seat with a 5-point harness.  Many states like Virginia strictly go by the NHTSA height and weight requirements for older children regardless of age: 40 pounds before switching to a booster (age 4 suggested), and 80 lbs AND 4'9" (age 8 suggested) before going to a plain seat belt.  I would hate to be a 4'5" 12 year old in Virginia.  Georgia is more lenient.  They require all children six and under to be in a restraint "appropriate for their weight and height".

The first reason to for these guidelines is physiological.  Even though an child is a certain height or weight, they are still at a certain stage of development based on their age.  Infants and toddlers have fragile bones.  Their skulls aren't fully hardened until around age 3, which is why rear facing car seats are the safest for as long as you can do it as they greatly diminish the force of impact (a physics lesson in and of itself) and a large part of what protects your internal organs during heavy impact is toned and developed musculature.  Infants and small children obviously don't have that.  

The next reason has to do with physics but I'll forgo the lesson here as well.  It is recommended that infants and toddlers under 40 pounds be restrained with a 5-point harness because a properly fitted 5-point harness diffuses the impact across the rib cage rather than across the abdomen and pelvis as a 3-point harness or lap and shoulder belt would.  The largest reason for child injuries and fatalities in car accidents is not the actual impact, but injuries caused by an ill-fitting harness or putting too small of a child in a 3-point or adult seat belt.  Common injuries include pelvic fractures and abdominal strictures.

Now we have cost versus value versus convenience.  

Since child product manufacturers want to rape parents for all they're worth, most people end up needing to upgrade their infant car seats when their child is between 5-9 months unless they got a 30-pound car seat.  That means you need a rear-facing car seat that can transition to forward facing in order to get the most "value".  This is known as a convertible car seat.  You can try to be smart and get a convertible car seat for a newborn since most of them claim to be good starting with 5 pounds, but a car seat that can accommodate a 40+ pound toddler ends up swallowing newborns without lots of extra accessories to ensure proper fit and support.  The good news is that you can get a 40-pound convertible car seat for $35-40 (Cosco Scenera Convertible Car Seat).  Pay a little more, and you can get the Evenflo Tribute for $60 which accommodates a taller child.  For even more ($70-100), you can get something in Evenflo's Titan series which has a maximum weight limit of 50 pounds, but is strangely a slightly shorter car seat than the Tribute.  It is supposedly good for children up to 50" tall, but I've read many reviews from parents saying that their children outgrew the Titan car seats in the 30 something inch range.  For costing 2x or more than the least expensive convertible car seat, I think it better last as long as it's supposed to.  You can pay up to $150 for a low-mid price range convertible car seat, but the max weight is 65 pounds on these and they are HUGE--not great if you have a small vehicle or frequently ride with passengers.  For the $150-250 price range you can get a convertible or 3-in-1 car seat that turns has a booster mode for children up to 100 pounds.  Most of these are huge as well--the bigger the kid, the bigger the seat.  

Want to know how much a forward-facing only seat costs?  The least expensive toddler seat appropriate for 1 year olds that I've found is the Cosco high back booster, which is forward-facing for 22-40 pounds and a belt-positioning booster seat for 40-80 pounds.  It costs $49 even at walmart.com.  That will get you through even the strictest state requirements.

If you don't have special needs, the least expensive way to go is to get a cheap convertible car seat, then a forward facing seat when they outgrow it, and a $15-20 backless booster afterward if they need it.  If your convertible car seat allows you to go straight to a booster mode, you can get a high back booster for little kids for as low as $30.  But this route requires up to 4 separate seats, which isn't convenient and carbon footprint decreasing and all of that.  If I wasn't constantly having to spend money elsewhere, I'd spend more upfront and get the most compact convertible car seat with the highest weight capacity I could find rather than having to buy so many additional seats.  During my car seat search, my favorite has been the Recaro ProSERIES because they're compact, have a high maximum weight capacity, and are made in the USA as opposed to China where all the other car seats are made.  They also seem to be the safest because they have really high standards and put their focus on safety and convenience and ease of use as far as making height adjustments.

If you're curious about which car seat I got, I picked the Evenflo Tribute.  I was strapped for cash and had to put aside my preferences and ideals so that my little man would have something ride in.  The features are pretty good:  high user ratings, two position recline, latch equipped (safest and easiest way to install a car seat, compatible with most cars manufactured from 2002 on), body and head pillows, fold down cup holder, and able to withstand about twice the impact as the minimum federal crash safety standards.  I wish it had a higher weight and height limit, but my son should be about a year and a half before he reaches 40 pounds because babies and toddlers slow down a lot with the weight gain from 6 months on.  At that point, I'll have more flexibility in choosing the style of car seat , and maybe I can afford the one I like then.

My car seat will come in between 8/12-8/17.  I'll tell you all about it when it comes!

I hope this helps some people in their car seat search.

Thrifty Thursday: How to be a full-time Work at Home Mom (even if you're single)

This isn't my typical Thrifty Thursday kind of post, but it ties in, and I think this is a topic many moms will find interesting as studies have shown that most women want to either cut back hours or be at home full-time once they become mothers.  In many cases, single moms have a greater need to be at home because of the high cost of day care and sitters and the fact that the father is often unable or unwilling to participate in the daily care of his child(ren).  Many single mothers find themselves ineligible for government assistance because they meet or exceed the minimum income requirements, which is around $24,000 in Georgia for a mother with one child (so take that Phyllis Schlafley!).  This, however, creates a paradox.  You can't afford child care expenses if you work, but you can't afford everything else if you don't work.

As a woman who unexpectedly found herself a single mother living 250 miles away from her child's father, I've discovered that the best way to be a stay at home mom is to plan your career with that goal in mind.  Choosing a well-paying field with flexible work options is the path that will lead to most satisfying work at home mom opportunities.  It is also very hard to transition into full-time self-employment AFTER you become a mom because your time and attention are pulled so many different ways.  If you don't or can't plan ahead, you may have to settle for a less than ideal job but to me that was a small sacrifice in order to actually be the person raising my child rather than a day care employee getting paid $10 and hour to baby sit my son and 15 other kids.

Even if you have to suddenly change all your career plans, it is possible, however, with time, dedication, perserverence, and patience to successfully make a living wage and actually thrive from self-employment even as a single parent.  In the past few months, I've been piecing together bits of freelance work and self-employment opportunities in an effort to figure out the best fit for me in my current geographic location. 

In no particular order, these are the best opportunities I've found for any moms who are already stay at home moms and would like to make some extra money or moms who want to transition into full-time work at home status.  I'm even working on a few of them.  That's part of the beauty of work for yourself:  you don't have to limit yourself to just one thing.


Private Instructor

Depending on your background, there are a number of subjects in which you can offer tutoring.  If you have a music background, you can give private lessons from your home. Rates for these services range from $15-80 for a 30 minute session depending on where you live, your experience, the difficulty level of the material, and the instrument being taught if you are giving music lessons.  For those who have trouble finding help with child care during normal business hours, this is a good scheduling opportunity since most of the appointments needed will be after school and work hours.


Personal Trainer

For the fitness buffs out there, being a personal trainer can be a fun and lucrative way to make some extra money.  Certification is relatively inexpensive and easy to get if you are interested in specializing in a specific fitness activity such as yoga or pilates.  Classes may be taught from your home or you can schedule private sessions.  For reference, the personal trainers I know charge $50-100 for the initial meeting and assessment and then $35-60 for subsequent sessions.


Child Care

If you're anything like me, you already know several families with children who need child care ranging from ocassional nights out to full-time care while the parents are at work. The average cost of daycare in Georgia is about $135/week for infants and toddlers and $115/week for preschoolers.  Even government subsidized child care can be in the $75/week range.  You can offer child care services to people who already know and trust you.  The benefits are that you can choose who to accept since you already know the child(ren) and have a good idea of whether or not you can handle them in addition to your own and you will also feel comfortable and certain of disciplinary boundaries.  Having a mix of ages isn't necessarily a bad thing.  The older children can help with small tasks like getting their little sister's diapers or throwing away their juice boxes so that you don't have to do it all.  Build a good repoire with the families you work with, and you may be needing extra help to handle the business demand before you know it.


House/Pet Sitting

This isn't something you can necessarily count on as a full-time opportunity, but it's an easy way to make some extra money once or twice a month, especially if you know a lot of people who travel or can be referred by trusted associates.  In many cases, you don't necessarily have to stay the whole time but can come once or twice a day to check the house and take care of the animals.  Either way, you're at liberty to take your child with you.  If your son or daughter is old enough, they can even help out and might enjoy the change of scenery and/or furry friends.

Housecleaning

Start your own maid service for great flexibility with scheduling and a casual enough setting to bring your child when you have to.  Use a carrier like a Mei Tai to keep your baby close but your hands free and a gated play yard to keep your little one in a contained area while your work.  Worried about fumes and exposure to harsh chemicals?  Use green cleaning products to avoid the harmful side effects of conventional cleaners, and advertise your services as ecofriendly.  Depending on the size of the home and other factors such as messy pets or ceiling height tiles in the shower, typical charges range from $40-100+ per cleaning.  Clients usually request ongoing weekly or bimonthly services.  If a home requires a lot of extra work for the first cleaning, you may assess a higher rate for the first cleaning.  Once word gets around, you might be able to gain a commercial account or two such as a church or local business.


Freelance Writing

Being a freelance writer has never been as romantic a job as it may seem.  Today's freelance writer is even less so.  In addition to ghostwriting, editting, and other technical writing jobs, the internet provides a huge venue for those wanting to make extra money by writing.  The business model for many freelance writers involves supplementing more creative work with ad revenue driven online writing.  There are several ways of generating commercially driven income including pay per click ad space and receiving a cut on sales originating from your work.  Build enough of a portfolio with your personal work, and you may eventually land a paid writing position for a web-based company.  This option takes the longest to develop but is the ultimate in flexibility, time available to your children, and income potential.  This doesn't happen for everyone, but there are real live bloggers who make millions from the traffic to their websites.  Their readership is obviously much larger than what the average online writer ever achieves.  I believe most online content writers can realistically expect to achieve a minimum of $1000/month with high quality, consistent output over time.

DDT6 -- The Scoop on Poop

I know the biggest turn off to cloth diapering is probably the poop factor.  The fact of the matter is that your baby may not even poop as often or as copiously as you imagine.  In addition to your infant or toddler's age, diet (down to the brand of milk) will also affect the quantity, consistency, and frequency of the bowel movements.

The Good News

While it is ideal for a newborn to poop 4-8 times a day, it is not uncommon for it to be quite less.  The nurses at the hospital told me that any decent size "mark" could be considered a bowel movement.  Once my son got into a routine, he only had 1-2 dirty diapers a day and often went up to 3 days at a time between poops.  This is normal and should not be thought of as constipation unless it is coming out hard and/or dry.  Breastfed babies can go up to a week without pooping because breast milk is so perfectly made for an infant's digestive system that almost 100% of it can be absorbed with no waste material.  Even formula fed babies can go up to 3 days between bowel movements without concern, and there are a handful of formulas that compare with the digestibility of breast milk.

More Good News

As your infant ages, the consistent of the bowel movements will change and become easier and easier to remove from the diaper.  If you are blessed with a little bundle of joy who happens to be a prolific pooper, the frequency will also decrease to about 4 times a day at 4 months and down to one time a day by 6-8 months.  In many cases, this could happen sooner.  My son has been making well-formed stools since around 4 months.  It might be hard at first to deal with, but it does get better!

The Bad News

Newborn poop is very sticky and can have an almost liquid-like texture.  This will make it messy to prewash out of the diapers until they start having more solid bowel movements at about 4 months.  If you have to, the good old fashioned washing in a basin works, but it's not the most palatable way to deal with poopy diapers.  The easiest way is with a sprayer (even later on).  It knocks off the poop without mashing it into the cloth for the least amount of residue on the diaper.  You don't have to get an official diaper sprayer.  If you have a mud room with a shower stall or a sink with a built in sprayer, that will save you money and the trouble of installing an extra gadget.  Once you rinse it, wring out as much water as you can and put in the diaper bucket until you're ready to launder.

So there you have it.  That's the scoop on poop.  It's not as scary as it seems, so get to it!

6-month Firsts

First time eating carrots

For me, the first 6 months of motherhood were a trial and error period of parenting theory testing and boundary setting.  There were so many questions.  How much could I reasonably expect to do alone as a single mother?  How concerned should I be about when and how to start introducing new foods?  Is sterilization of every little thing a major issue? 

He learned how to sit by himself right before his 6 month birthday!

What I learned is that everything isn't as life or death as experts and family members may make it seem.  It turns out I can do pretty much everything on my own.  I may not sleep as much, and I may not do it in as timely a fashion as I would prefer, but if I have to, I can.  When it comes to foods, your baby will let you know in many different ways when he or she is ready for new things.  As far as sterilization goes, he hasn't died yet even though I don't always fully sterilize his bottles and eating utensils or worry about every toy that touches the floor.  In fact, he hasn't been sick at all since he's been born.  Here's an interesting tip for breast feeding mothers:  your body puts antibodies in the milk which are made specifically for the pathogens you encounter, many of which will come from your child due to the constant contact.  So if you nurse, you can worry even less about germs.

In light of the way things have turned out, I've become more laid back and less worried.  So last weekend, we did all sorts of things I've never done or tried to avoid including a sort of a day trip with my son all by myself against my mother's advice.  Please, Mom, don't have a heart attack when you read about everything we did.

First time riding with a friend

1.  Let him touch one of my dog's puppies.  He seemed to think it was like one of his stuffed animals.  I washed his hands after.

2.  Stopped freaking out every time my son rolls off his play mat onto the bare floor.

3.  Let him occasionally sit and play on the floor.

4.  Let my son ride in a WalMart shopping cart, but with a blanket to cover the seat.  He very much enjoyed sitting up and looking around like a big boy, but he wasn't a big fan of the bumpy pavement.

5.  Didn't try to comfort him every single time he got fussy in the car.  As long as he's not hungry or wet, it turns out he can pacify himself most of the time if I don't jump in right away.  The sound of my voice as background noise (like on the cell phone) but not actually talking to him seemed to be soothing.  Actually talking to him made him cry more.  Saving the best toys for last instead of giving them all right away also seemed to help.  I figure you've got nothing to bargain with if you give him his favorite the first time he fusses.

6.  Let him eat baby food from a not freshly sterilized spoon.

7.  Let him touch a client's dog.

8.  Let said dog lick his hand.  This made him giggle.

9.  Took him with me to a chiropractic appointment.  He loved the bench in the dressing room because it made impressive sounds when he kicked his feet on it.

10.  Didn't take my bagel away immediately when he grabbed it and decided to use it as a chew toy.   He thinks he needs to sample everything he sees me eating or drinking.

11.  Took him to Books-A-Million and fed him sweet potatoes on one of the coffee shop tables.

12.  Didn't tell him to stop when he chewed another baby's toes.  After all, he chews his own toes all the time.

13.   Bought gas with him in the car.  I usually let someone else do it or wait until I'm by myself because I didn't want to have an upset baby during an extra stop.  I set the pump on autopilot, played with Davie while it filled up, then put him back in his seat when I was all done.  He fussed when I put him back, but he got over it and ended up falling asleep.

The First Six Months--5 Lessons Learned

My son turned 6 months old on the 30th.  I can't help but marvel at how fast he's grown and how quickly he continues to develop.  In this short time, he's gone from a tiny 6 pound baby who barely knows what to do with himself to a strapping 20+ pound boy who can sit by himself, knows how to drink out of a glass, is able to ask for things, almost has standing by himself under his belt, holds his sippy cup, helps me dress him by putting his arms and legs through his clothes, and wants to copy everything everyone does around him.

What everyone says is true about it getting easier.  Post partum finally ended so I'm not an emotional, moody, cranky wreck anymore.  Since he can sit up by himself, it's easier to dress him, bathe him, and feed baby food.  His poops are on a pretty dependable schedule and are easier to get out of his cloth diapers than when he was a newborn.  He sleeps longer, often sleeping through the night, but he still has those nights where he's awake every 30 minutes.  Since he is able to entertain himself a little, he doesn't need to be held quite as often.  The nervous novelty of motherhood has begun to wear off, and I'm no longer afraid of every little thing.

As I emerge from the rite of passage that is the first 6 months as a mother, I have a few short words of advice for new and expecting moms as someone who has very recently been through this phase.

1)  Sleep when the baby sleeps.  You won't get it any other way.  The laundry and dishes can wait.  If you don't sleep, you'll burn out especially in the first 2-3 months.  As it is, you may not get more than 1-2 hours of sleep at a time and even less if you're breast feeding.  When I was nursing, there were days at a time when I didn't get more than 30 minutes of sleep in a sitting because my son would breastfeed for 45-60 minutes, fall asleep halfway through, take another 15-30 minutes to be sound asleep enough to put down, and I would only have another 30-45 minutes before his next feeding.  It was rough.

If a trusted friend of family member offers to help with chores or watch the baby for a bit so you can have an extra nap, learn to accept their offers with grace.  While we mothers want to do it all, we can't.  There aren't enough hours in the day to care for a newborn AND do all the housework.


2)  Don't let others undermine you and your instincts as a mother.  Moms don't pop out of a mold.  You don't have to do everything the way your mother or matrons in your life did it.  Follow your instincts and be true to your mothering style.  You'll be most comfortable doing what feels natural to you rather than trying to meet everyone's expectations and desires for the way you choose to care for your new infant.  You also spend more time than anyone else with your baby, so you are the expert when it comes to your child's habits, needs, and ways of communicating.  And, yes, your newborn will quickly learn how to communicate different wants, needs, and emotions.  It's amazing how articulate they can be even without speech!


3)  Everything in the world is NOT out to get your baby.  Contrary to all the information out there and the advice of concerned, well-meaning friends and family, it really just isn't that serious most of the time.  Yes, we need to take safety and health precautions.  But your baby won't die of SIDS if he wants to sleep on his stomach, especially when he's strong enough to turn his head on his own.  Your little girl won't get pneumonia if it's a degree or two colder than your grandmother thinks it should be in the house or bath.  If your little bundle of joy grabs something that touched the floor and puts it in his or her mouth, a sudden and fatal attack of dysentery will not ensue.  Yes, babies are more sensitive than adults, but if they were really THAT fragile, the world would be a lot less populated and no one born in the days before sterilized bottles, enclosed homes, and air filters would have survived.  Common sense, good judgement, and your motherly instincts are enough to make sound decisions in almost all of the situations you'll encounter in your daily life with baby.


4)  Get everything bigger than you think you need it.    I mean EVERYTHING:  clothes, bottles, car seats, the works.  Your little one will grow faster than you would believe and those cute tiny things will soon be too small.  My son outgrew the 4-ounce capacity of his newborn size bottles around 4 months.  Any day now he'll outgrow his 22 pound limit infant car seat.  He's already comfortably wearing 12-18 month clothes.  Most play pens are too small since he's over 26 inches long and the biggest ones I've seen are only 34-38" at the widest point, which doesn't leave much crawl space.  He was only able to use his swing for about 4 months, and he's almost too long for his baby papasan chair.  If we'd gotten him a bassinet, he would have outgrown it ridiculously fast.  Sadly, his little legs are almost too fat for his Bumbo chair, but I still recommend them because they're so useful.


5)  Less is more.  While it can be a temptation to try every gadget out there for babies, it will often end up being a waste of money in all honesty.  If your child is anything like mine, he or she would rather have less toys and more one on one time with you.  When it comes to toys and entertainment for my son, he really doesn't need that much.  I can count on one hand the favorites he will turn to again and again and still have fingers left over.  He would rather be with me than any toy I can buy or make for him.  There isn't a toy or video that can hold his attention for longer than 20 or so minutes on a good day, especially if he's playing or watching alone.  If he could talk, I'm sure he'd tell anyone that likes his toys and games much better when we play with them together.  More often than not, he's more interested in turning nontoys into his new play things and will derive more enjoyment out of them than most items that are supposed to be toys.  For example, he would rather have the mouse pad or the phone charger to chew than any teething toy in the house.

Thrifty Thursday: Great Sales on Kids' Clothes and New Coupons

Head to TheChildrensPlace.com for deep discounts on items in their summer sale.  Items start at $2.99 and are great for back to school clothing or stocking up for next summer.  With $5 shipping on every order no matter what size, it's worth checking out.

Kmart.com has great deals on baby and toddler items right now.  Get 10% baby and toddler gear, furniture, and bedding.  If you're looking for clothes, their sale items start as low as $1.79 on polo shirts, onesies, shorts, and more.  Plus get an additional 10% off these prices on all Little Wonders brand clothing and free shipping on all orders over $49.

As always, check out my coupon banner which can be found in my Thrifty Thursday posts and my blog's side bar for savings on Huggies diapers, wipes, groceries, and more!

DDT5 -- Choosing Diaper Fabric

There are a few things to consider when selecting fabric for a diapers.  The two main characteristics you want to think about are absorbency and comfort.  The cloth needs to absorb quickly and not irritate sensitive skin in a constant contact situation.

For absorbency, I've found that bamboo fabrics are are fast and hold a lot of liquid without a lot of bulk, cottons are very absorbent but tend to be very thick, cotton flannel is absorbent even though it isn't thick but doesn't tend to be the most durable with frequent washing, and fleeces are good at wicking away moisture for the driest feel.

The most comfortable, soft fabrics I've found are bamboo blends.  Bamboo velour is very soft and fluffy.  Bamboo fleece is some of the most luxurious I've felt.  Other benefits are the almost nonexistant shrinkage and the antibacterial properties of bamboo.  Cotton is also very comfortable, especially french terry which is also a very effective liquid absorber, but some flannels and terry can be on the rough side.  Fleece is hit or miss depending on what it's made out of and if it's anti-pill or not.  I've used polyester fleece remnants and some of them work well, but the ones that pill leave marks on my baby's skin.

Because various types of fabric are have tactile differences and do not interact the same way with moisture, I've found that there is not really one all-purpose fabric that is perfect for every diaper project.  Even though cotton, bamboo, and hemp can be very good at absorbing wetness, they aren't always good enough for heavy wetters or night time use.  Fleece tends to be the best for that and polyester is the driest feeling and fastest wicking.  Polyester fleece also releases waste quickly with no staining in my experience.  For reusable wipes and diaper liners, I've found that having a thick side (such as terry cloth or polyester fleece) and a soft side (such as cotton knits or bamboo fleece/velour) is best.  The thick side can be used for getting the bulk of the mess and the soft side for gentle clean up.  When used as a liner, I like to fold it so that the soft side or the driest feeling side, depending on the fabric used, is on the outside and the most heavily absorbent fabric is on the inside.  Ultimately, you'll have to decide what fabrics and combinations work best for you.

To read more about the types of fabrics people are using for diapers and the pros and cons, I found this article to be very informative:

http://www.thethreadedbranch.com/pages/newfabricsarticle.php

Thrifty Thursday: Baby and Toddler Clothing Sales

Check the clearance racks at your local WalMart for $4 Carter's rompers in all sizes from infant to 24 months.  They were so cute that I couldn't resist!  I'm hoping he'll still fit in 24 months when it warms up next spring.  If not, we can layer long sleeves or leggings underneath when it gets cooler or save them for the random warm days during the Georgia winter.

Head to Diapers.com for savings on all baby clothes and shoes through the end of July.  Use coupon code JULYSALE for 10% off $50, 15% off $75, and 25% off $100.  As always, free shipping on all orders over $49 for double savings!

And don't forget about the coupon generator to the right for savings on groceries and home products.

DDT 4 - DIY Cloth Diaper Supplies

Making your own cloth diapers and diaper covers isn't hard at all.  You might be surprised at the materials you already have in your home like old towels or old flannel pajamas that you can repurpose for diaper making projects.  It's great practice and will give you a feel for the absorbency levels of different types of fabric.

Even if you're using materials you already have, you'll probably need to supplement with a few other items to make anything outside of a basic prefold or contour diaper.  Here's a list of cloth diaper making basics and some of my favorite places to find them.



Basic Supplies

• Fabric (flannel, terry cloth, french terry, velour, fleece with no more than 20% polyester content)
• Elastic (1/4 inch garter, baby garter, Lastin, fold over elastic)
• Hook & Loop (Aplix, soft Velcro, touch tape)
• PUL fabric for covers and outer shell of AIOs and pocket diapers
• High quality thread (use polyester for covers and items that need to be waterproof)

Suppliers

SewShoppe.com - They have almost everything imaginable for your baby sewing needs including diaper sewing notions that are difficult to find anywhere else, but shipping is a little high so it's not ideal for small orders

CelticCloths.com - PUL, fabrics, elastics, and patterns.  Great deals in their constantly changing clearance inventory.  You'll want to check this regularly.  Shipping as low as under $3.00 for small orders.

GreenThumbFabrics.com - They have some of the lowest prices for bamboo fabrics, but don't always have everything in stock.  A good value if you're not on a time limit.

NaturesFabrics.com - The best selection of organic fabrics I've seen in one place, and the prices are reasonable.  They recently added PUL to their inventory.  For those with very ambitious projects in mind, they also sell some of the best priced bolts of fabric I've found thus far.

DenverFabrics.com - Huge selection of conventional cotton fabrics and fleeces and everything else you might need for your nondiaper sewing projects.  Reasonable prices.  Frequent sales.

Etsy and Ebay - Find diaper cuts, remnants, or full yardage of PUL, fabric, and other supplies from other DIY moms selling their extras.

Size Matters

Usually in the 95th percentile for weight and height at each check up, it seems that I'm constantly facing a dilemma with my son's above average size.  At five and half months old, he's already about 21 pounds.  He lost a bit of weight during a teething week at the beginning of the month but quickly gained it back and then some. 

Before I became a mother, I used to think that preoccupation with the petite was reserved for adults.  I am, however, rethinking that as I've been researching exactly what it means to be in the 90+ percentile compared with the median weights for infants at various stages.

Even though my son is ahead of the curve, the median weight for a 6 month old boy is 18 pounds.  This is only 4 pounds away from the maximum weight limit of infant car seats which are ideally supposed to last until the child is 1 year old.  Many brands of infant clothing have a maximum recommended weight of around 19.5 pounds for 9 months sizes.  It seems that baby products are designed with girls in mind who have much lower median weights.  Since this is true, one would think that manufacturers would make different lines of products to accommodate the different needs of boys and girls, especially with clothing.  But they don't.  It's as if companies purposely under size their products so that consumers will have to purchase multiple items (often costly items) in order to span the entire period of use.

What about when it comes to play pens and the height limits on car seats?  The story is much the same.  I've blogged about my car seat woes, so there's nothing new there.  I've also been looking at play n plays, play yards, and play pens since my son is of the age where he needs to be contained to make sure he doesn't get away when I'm not looking.  The largest I've seen, however, is 34" on it's longest side, and it's not cheap.  My son is already over 26" tall.  That doesn't leave much room for crawling and exercise.  I was extremely disappointed because I have fun memories involving the extra large playpens from the days of yore.

Because of that, I've had to search for alternatives to the traditional play pens.  If you search for gate or fence style play yards, these start with dimensions of at least 36"x36" and most of them have optional extensions available for purchase.  The pros are that they are convenient, versatile, highly portable, often able to be reconfigured to the shape and size that best fits the room, and cost much less per square foot than traditional style play pens.  The cons are that they aren't padded in the walls, need a separate pad for the floor if your baby is still learning to sit up or crawl, and the selection and styles are limited.

In a world where manufacturer's capitalize on the fast growth of infants and small children by making products that run small and your child is already larger than average, a mom has to get creative sometimes.




Image: Rasmus Thomsen / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Play Date

Last Thursday my son had a play date with a buddy he's known since the womb.  Ben is about 8 weeks older than my Davie.  The last time they saw each other was 2 months ago, and how it makes a difference!  At 3 months, Davie was tiny compared to 5-month old Ben.  Now 5 months old, Davie is taller and definitely fatter than 7-month old Ben.  My son is a little fatty!

Even though he sees other babies at the church nursery, his reaction was very different.  Part of the reason for that is because being in the nursery usually puts him in a coma for some reason.

During their reunion they kept smiling, holding each hands, and trying to grab each other's faces.  It's amazing how at this age they already know how to distinguish their peers and have an innate desire to interact with them.

(Please pardon the cleavage.  Davie had pulled my 
dress, and my brother, who was filming, doesn't notice 
my cleavage and didn't realize he was videoing it.)

My son is also learning from his brief time with the older boy.  In one afternoon, he picked up Ben's squealing chatter, filed it away in his brain, and surprised me with it the next day.  Who says babies can't pay attention and remember?

Our first solo road trip!

My son is 5.5 months old, and a prolific gurlger when he's upset.  During a tantrum, he let's all the saliva collect in the back of his throat and gurgles while he cries.  He does it so forcefully that he turns bright red and sometimes starts choking if he can't be made to stop.  Because of that, I've never gone on a drive longer than 45 minutes alone with him.  I prefer to sit in the back seat to keep him entertained and succored by his bottle when necessary.  Because I'm house sitting until the 23rd, I could no longer put off the mommy-baby road trip and we finally did it last Wednesday!

Orchestrating the preparations was a feat in and of itself.  Bringing everything a cloth diapered, bottle fed 5 month old needs for 10 days is no small task.  The gas tank was filled the day before, and some of our clothing was brought a few days ahead of time for an impromptu practice run with my mother.  The amount of bibs, blankets, towels, socks, and clothing he goes through between laundry days must calculated and packed.  All the bottles must be washed and packed with just the right amount prewarmed for the car ride and a couple of spares to go on while I was unpacking.  Laundry had to be timed just so in order for all the diapers to be washed and dry.  I admit it:  I used disposables to make this last bit happen.  No stinky diapers in the car!

Then the big day came, and it was a choreographed dance of loading the car during naps and arranging everything so that nothing dangerous for the baby or my car upholstery was in reach of his little hands but still keeping enough toys close enough that he'd have a nice assortment for the 1.5 hour drive.  All the essentials were placed in easy reach of the driver's seat and the departure was timed in the hopes he would fall asleep during the ride.

Well....he didn't fall asleep at all.  But he did, thankfully, quietly entertain himself for the first half of the ride with only minimal complaints that he didn't have a play mate and that he found his view less than interesting.  Meanwhile I was silently cursing the fact that you can't see your child in a rear facing car seat while driving and that keeping the seat in the middle like you're supposed to makes it hard to install any kind of usable mirror, and I vowed to myself to remedy this problem with some sort of wonderful, patentable invention that will make my son and I very rich one day.

Because he refused to nap, necessity, the catalyst by which genius is often born, demanded that I learn how to feed a baby in the backseat with one hand while driving, and must say that I can't wait until he can feed himself consistently in the car.  Then his primary source of entertainment, the play mat arch I had placed within his dangling reach, shifted against the car door.  At a stop light, I was able to shove it back toward him, but he didn't appreciate my efforts as much as I would have hoped.  He was not nearing point of gurgling yet, so I tried talking to him in the voices he likes and singing his favorite songs.  They didn't help.  I know that he somehow must be pacified without me stopping and holding him because the only way to make him stay in his car seat without a royal fit at that point will be to wait until he's sleeping.  And I refuse to capitulate like that.

In a last effort to prevent the gurgling-choking-face-flushing extravaganza, I rummage through my purse to find an Altoid container still in plastic wrap.  "Great," I think to myself, "He loves crinkly plastic sounds!"  For the remaining 20 or so minutes of the trip, I kept him entertained by rattling the tin and crunching the plastic.  At first, he even laughed every time it made a noise.  Even though he soon grew weary of it, he remained interested enough to refrain from going into a full blown tantrum.

Finally, we reached our destination.  He was hot, sweaty, and irate but gurgle and choke free.  Success!

In roughly a week, I get to do it all over again.....

Thrifty Thursday: Sales for Crafty Moms

Since my last diaper blog was about making your own diapers, here are some current sales to make your diaper making and other craft projects lighter on the budget.  Enjoy!

www.sewshoppe.com - Your one stop shop for diaper making and other baby sewing projects.  They have the best selection of diaper supplies under one roof that I've found so far.

20% off entire purchase with coupon code STOREWIDE


JoAnn.com - A crafting superstore.  Find even more sales at your local JoAnn.

Up to 50% off all fleece
50% off all 54" home decor fabrics
Up to 40% off all papercrafting supplies
30% off all yarn
50% off one regular price item with online code WHF198
Free shipping on all orders over $25with online code EYD198


Celtic Cloths - A cloth diaper making and information website.  Find free patterns, great deals in their clearance items, and one of the lowest shipping prices out there!

DDT 3 -- Free Cloth Diaper Patterns

Here are free downloadable patterns for anyone who wants to try their hand at make a few diapers.  Everything from AIOs, pocket diapers, contours, fitteds, and covers!

All-in-One Pattern (Medium)

Rita's Rump Pocket Diaper - (patterns for covers, AIOs, contours, and more also available)

Ottobredesign Fitted Diaper

Goodness Gracious Fitted Diaper

Little Comet Tails Not so Flat Wrap (I have personally used this pattern as a contour diaper and used it a starting point to create my own covers and AIOs.  It has a very generous cut, which is great as a contour.  For covers and AIOs, I have to trim it down in the crotch and/or lengthen the pattern for the best fit.)

Wee Weka Pocket Nappy (My personal favorite.  It didn't start fitting that well as a pocket diaper until my son was about 4 months old as the rise was too high.  Now that it does, it's a very nice slim fitting diaper even with night time stuffings.  I did, however, use the pattern to make a diaper cover with an adjustable rise, and it was the only cover I had the fit well for newborn use.  It still fits great even now.)

Come back next week for my favorite DIY cloth diaper supplies and suppliers!

Print Coupons from Cool Mom's Blog!

Just when you thought this blog couldn't get any cooler, my website was selected to host a new beta program that allows my readers to print coupons from my blog.  Now you can save money every time you read my blog by printing coupons from my new coupon banner.

New coupons available daily!  Just look for a banner like this one in my sidebar:

Thrifty Thursday: How to Save the Planet and your Wallet on Laundry Day

It's summer and the heat is on.  Or should I say the air conditioner is on?  While the air is on full blast, everyone could use a few tips and tricks to keep their energy bills down. Here are a few hopefully new ideas from me to you that will save energy, money, and wear and tear on your washer and dryer.


1)  This is probably a no brainer.  Use the coolest temperature setting possible on both the washer and dryer.  This will decrease the work done by the water heater and the dryer heating element.  Less heat in your appliances also means less radiant heat in your home which translates into less work for the air conditioner.  It's a moneysaving snowball effect!

2)  Wait until you have enough for a full load before doing laundry.  No matter what size load you wash, your washer and dryer use the same amount of time and energy to operate.  You'll save electricity, water, and time in the long term.

3) Use a residue free soap or try reducing the amount of regular detergent you use in the wash.  In many cases, you can decrease the amount of detergent by 25-50% without compromising cleaning power because of the caustic surfactants used in most detergents.  If you are washing an extra dirty load, agitate then let it soak overnight to loosen the grime before running a full wash cycle.  This will reduce or eliminate the need for an extra rinses when you do laundry.

4) Harness the energy of the sun to double task drying and disinfecting.  If you use high heat settings in the washer or dryer for disinfecting purposes, try an old fashioned clothes line.  The UV light emitted by the sun which causes sunburns is also a powerful antimicrobial death ray.  You'll decrease the amount of heat needed on laundry day, which will keep your home cooler and your wallet fatter.

5) Make your dryer faster by putting a dry towel or two in the dryer.  This is especially good for thick clothing and cloth diapers that dry more slowly than regular laundry.  The towel will wick water out of the wet clothes, allowing them to dry more quickly.  Since the towel is dry to begin with, the heat of the dryer will evaporate moisture almost immediately so that the towel can draw out wetness continuously.  A word of caution:  don't get too excited about this idea and overfill your dryer.  The wet clothing needs to be able to tumble freely in order for this to work.  Also make sure you don't use this method on clothes you want to keep lint free.

Photo by mattox courtesy of stock.xchng

DDT 2 -- One Size Cloth Diaper Options for Newborns

It's Diapert Duty Tuesday again!  This week's topic is cloth diapering for newborns.  Newborns don't have much of a bottom and their legs are on the spindly side so it can be tricky finding the right diaper to fit properly without leaks and blowouts.  As previously mentioned in my other diapering posts, the best way to cloth diaper for the first 1-2 months are to use a separate diaper and cover to achieve the right fit for the newborn baby shape.  I primarily used prefolds, which are the most economical choice, but I also had a few homemade contour diapers that I still use.  If you can afford them, fitted newborn diapers are great because they're specially designed to sit low on the belly as to not irritate the umbilical chord and you can easily adjust them to create a custom fit for your baby.  I personally couldn't justify spending that much money on a lot of diapers that I would only use for 2-6 weeks, and I folded down the tops of the prefolds and contours to achieve a similar effect.

As I've been looking at cloth diapers to get ideas for my little boy who is on the cusp of moving to the toddler size diapers, I've seen a lot of great options for newborns that I'm definitely keeping in mind for any future children.  New companies are popping up with innovative, less cumbersome one-size designs, and established cloth diaper makers are revamping their diapers to stay competitive.  It's a win win for all of us tree hugging, planet saving, green living, cloth diapering moms!  Here are two of the one-size choices that interest me the most in terms of durability and sizing options.


Sprout Change One Size Diaper from The Willow Store

This diaper boasts a 5-40 pound weight range, making it the closest to a truly one size fits all diaper that I've ever seen and the only one that should fit just about all newborns even most preemies.  The cover is also reversible with two colors, so it's actually two covers in one.  The sleeves are made of your choice of microfleece or organic cotton and the inserts are made of organic hemp/cotton blend.  All this and made in the USA!

How it works:  The cover uses a series of snaps for the waist and adjustable elastic for the legs to create the right fit for your child.  You put the insert (basically a prefold) into the sleeve and lay it in the cover.  Looks very simple.  The sleeve helps wick moisture to keep baby feeling dry, is supposed to be easy to wash off, and keeps poop off the actual diaper.  You can double up on inserts for extra absorbing power.

These are on the pricey side at $24.95 for a complete 1 diaper system (1 reversible cover, 1 sleeve, 1 insert).  But you can customize your own package because all components of the diaper system are available for individual sale.  Individual covers are $16.95 for those who already have diapers but are looking to try a new cover or like the idea of a reversible.  Extra sleeves are $4.95 and may be used with your own diaper covers if you are excited by the thought of an easy rinsing layer that keeps poop off your diapers or allows you to use ointments and creams without diminishing absorbency.  The organic hemp inserts are $6.95 and may be used alone as prefolds or doublers with your existing diaper system.

Save 10% at checkout with the code CHANGE 





FuzziBunz® One size Diapers 

FuzziBunz is the company started by Tereson Dupuy, who is considered to be the mother of modern cloth diapering with her invention of the pocket diaper.  She has done some exciting new things to her one size diapers.  Gone are the unsightly rows of snaps that used to be the system for changing the size of one sizes--just one set of snaps for the waist and adjustable elastic in the legs for up to 8 different size settings!

FuzziBunz fits from 7-35 pounds, so it should fit most newborns right away or as soon as the umbilical chord falls off (usually within 2 weeks, about 10 days for my son).  The fleece lining is highly absorbent even during night time use and for older babies according to most users.  The adjustable elastic will give a better fit for your new baby than the snap adjustments in older styles of one size diapers.  The elastic is also easily replaceable without sewing or ripping out any seems.  The durable snaps, ease of elastic replacement, and high quality of materials means that these diapers will last for 3+ years even with heavy use and frequent washing.  If you plan to cloth diaper through multiple children, this is a solid and long lasting investment!

Individual diapers are about $19.95 though I've seen them for a little less at some places.  FuzziBunz diaper packs start at $59.95 for 3 at stores like Kelly's Closet, and Amazon has a 9-pack that includes a breast milk alcohol test kit for $175.

Free Shipping at Kelly's Closet for orders over $49
Free 2-day shipping on all orders for Amazon Prime members (30 day free trial available)

Freaky Friday: Future Baby Generator

Not my permanent Friday theme in case anyone was wondering.  But I did get curious last night if a baby generator would actually make a baby that looked like my son if I put in a picture of me and his father.  My virtual baby is not as fat, but it actually does kind of look like our son down to the hair type and eye color.  I think it's more what he'll look like as a toddler.  Freaky!

See the resemblance?

Like I said, not exact but pretty close for a computer generated image using some sort of photo manipulation software and a bit of probability to determine the actual features.  But it has the same whispy hair, same eyebrows, same eye color, same lips, similar eye shape, similar nose, and the same overall head shape minus the fluffy, fat cheeks.  When he loses the baby fat, he'll probably look more like the generated image.

How Does It Work?

Face detection technology like FBI uses in investigations is what makes this possible.  Boy have we come a long way!  At the particular website I went to (www.MorphThing.com), you can upload your own photos, pair one of your photos with something from the celebrity image library, or use two of their celebrity pictures to morph.  For a bit of twisted entertainment, you can morph two people to make an adult face or you can try their beta baby maker.  They even have a random morph selection for those who can't help themselves. Random morphs available for viewing during my visit included Saddam Hussein + Munch's The Scream, Gollum + Angelina, and Zhang Ziyi + Michael Jackson.  More freakishness.

The process involves mapping the general outline of the face and important distinguishing features including the eyes, nose, lips, hair line, and jaw.  If you upload your own pictures, you must do this yourself.  Photos from their library are already prepared for morphing.  If you choose the baby maker, it will ask you the race of the parents before generating the final image.  I started from scratch with two photos and it probably took me about 10 minutes from start to finish including the wait time while the software "morphed"my baby.

There are a few websites that do this, but most of them require a fee or subscription.  MorphThing was free though.

And now.....

I know you're thinking it.

I know you just have to find out.

Ok...here it comes....

Are you sure you're ready?

Brace yourself.....

All I have to say is that I hope this isn't accurate, or my son may end up with a complex.  It's Friday.  Go have some fun.  Fun Friday...get it?

Great Coupons for Moms and Babies

From now on Thursdays will be Thrifty Thursday, the I'll blog about any coupons, sales, and discounts that I've found.  In an effort to simplify and organize the way I do my blog posts, I'll be devoting each day of the week to an ongoing topic.  So far we have Diaper Duty Tuesdays and Thrifty Thursdays.  If you have any suggestions or requests, leave a comment or send me a message.

Now without further ado....

Head to Coupons.com for printer-friendly savings on the following and more!

$3 off Huggies Snug and Dry diaper pack (60 count or larger)

$1.50 off Huggies little swimmers

$2 off Huggies wipes (320 count or larger)

$2 off Huggies Pure & Natural Diapers

$2 off Goodnites jumbo pack or larger

$1 off Desitin

$1.50 off Aveeno hair products

$2 off Aveeno lotion

$1 off Campbell's soups

$1 off Listerine

$1 off Opti-free contact solution

$1 off Renu contact solution

$1 off Organyc feminine products

$1 off Burt's Bees toothpaste

$.40 off Nature Valley granola bars

$1 off Nature Valley granola nut clusters

$1 off All brand Oxi-Active detergent (28 loads or larger)

Free Sears portrait collage + 20% off entire purchase + no session fee

2 pair glasses $88.99 at JCPenny

Smartsource.com has a coupon for $4 off 2 Huggies Little Movers/Little Snugglers diaper packs.

Here are some coupons and discounts from Diapers.com.  Check their website for even more coupons on Tide detergents, Bounty paper towels, and more.  Additionally, you can use manufacturer's coupons and formula checks by sending your coupons and packing slip for the eligible purchases to Diapers.com, P.O. Box 483, Jersey City, NJ 07303.  They'll give you a credit on your next order.

Free shipping on all orders over $49

$10 off any diaper order for first time customers

$2 off any one case of Huggies Diapers with coupon code HUGGIES3

$3 off any one case of Seventh Generation Diapers with coupon code 7NTHGEN2

$2 off any Avent, Born Free, Dr. Browns 2 or 3 pack feeding bottles with coupon code BOTTLE3

$4 off any single 14 oz. or larger jar of Desitin, Boudreax's, or Aquaphor diaper rash ointment with coupon code RASHJAR2

These coupons are available for one-time use per household and expire on 12/31/2010.  If you are a first time Diapers.com customer and you appreciate the savings I just passed on to you, let me know by using this referral code at checkout NBDE6587.  Once you place your first order, you'll receive a referral code too and you'll get a $5 credit for every new customer you send their way.

Convertible Car Seat Update

My son turns 5 months old today (yay!) and was 19.5 pounds last time I held him on the scale with me.  His great grandparents and great aunt stopped by today and marveled at how fast he's grown, and one of my best friends is developing an inferiority complex about how "undersized" her 7 month old is next to my son.

I'm still researching car seats, and the clock is ticking on my decision.  He is quickly approaching the 22 pound weight limit on his Chicco Keyfit Infant Car Seat, which by the way is one of the top rated infant car seats by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration.  They also make a newer model that has a 30 pound weight limit if anyone is looking for a great, easy-to-use car seat or travel system.  The Chicco Keyfit 30 also has a lower minimum 4 pound baby weight, so it's an ideal choice for preemies and small babies.  Just throwing that out there for my mommy-to-be readers!

So far, my favorite is still the Recaro convertible car seat.  Based on my continued research, they are by far the most safe, comfortable, and compact convertible car seat on the market; they have some of the highest weight limits available (70 pounds in the convertible car seat and 120 pounds in their other safety seats); and their new ProSERIES child safety seats are made right here in the USA and include a convertible car seat, a combination harness to booster seat, and a booster seat.  You can find a lot of discounts for their previous Signo/Signo G2 and Como/Como G2 convertible car seat models because they are closeout items.  The primary difference between the Signo and the Como models is that the Signo has an infinite adjust knob for the head rest and no re-thread shoulder harness, but the Como required manual adjustments.  The new ProRIDE convertible car seat has the infinite adjust and no re-thread harness as default features.

Be careful if you are purchasing a Signo or Como because there was a recall on car seats manufactured between February 1, 2008 and February 16, 2009.  The central harness adjuster had a manufacturing defect that caused it to sometimes slip and possibly not maintain the desired tightness.  Car seats not affected by this recall will have a green dot above the bar code on the model number sticker.  This problem was corrected in the G2 models, but I assume they changed the name completely in order to distance their newest model from the recall.

Despite the recall controversy, I'm still a dogged fan, especially since it wasn't a major flaw like harnesses that comes unbuckled under pressure, parts falling off, and things like that.  The price point, however, is always the issue with the Recaro.  Given how tall my son is and how ahead of the curve his weight usually is, I will most likely need to purchase a booster seat if only to give him more leg room in my Toyota Corolla.  I'm not sure I can justify the expenditure when I'll just need another seat in a couple years.

Some have suggested going straight to a toddler car seat, which would be front-facing.  But my son is so young that I want to keep him rear-facing for now, and Georgia law requires that all children 6 and under must be in a child safety seat appropriate for their age and height.  They go by the NHTSA guidelines, which say children must be at least 1 year old and 20 pounds before switching to a front-facing seat, toddlers 1-4 years old and under 40 pounds must be in a car seat, and children up to 12 years but under 80 pounds and 4'9" must use a booster.

For the sake of my immediate budget, I'm also looking at some convertible car seats by Evenflo.  They are the only convertible car seats with a weight limit over 40 lbs (it's 50 in the models I'm looking at) that I can consistently find under $100.  If I go this route, then maybe, just maybe, he'll slow down growing and stay in this seat long enough to transition straight into the ProBOOSTER, but that's probably just wishful thinking.

In order of price from lowest to highest the Evenflo contenders are the Titan Sport, Titan Elite, and the Triumph Advance LX, DLX, and Premier.  The main differences among these models is that they get plusher and cushier the more high end you go.  The higher end Triumph Advance models are usually over $100 but still much less expensive and more compact that than their competitors.  I've found really good sales and discounts at various places including Ebay.  Many Ebay sellers are even offering free shipping, so it's worth a look because I've found several auctions for the car seats mentioned  here brand new and cheaper than at other stores after shipping.

The main issue that's keeping me from being a huge fan is that many of the reviews for Evenflo car seats have stated that the children outgrew the height way before the manufacturer's stated limit.  My son is on the tall side, so that's a big turn off.  The maximum height is 50 inches on all of these, but I've read several reviews that complained of their children outgrowing the seat with heights in the 35-inch range.  It may be user error, but that means the seats may be difficult to adjust if that's the case.  At any rate, I find it hard to imagine a user error that would result in an infant or toddler outgrowing a car seat 15+ inches before the manufacturer's maximum height capacity.

Because my son is a big, fat, giant-sized baby (and I mean this in the most loving and adoring way possible), it looks like I'll have to go with the more expensive Recaro ProRide in order to save money long term.  For those of you who don't struggle with the issues of having a toddler-sized infant under 6 months old, be glad!  Meanwhile, it looks like we'll be going to the store to try out car seats before making a final decision.